“Forget Capitalism! Let’s survive on street fairs and diversity events, funded by non-profits, run by unions, led by community organizers, and powered by imagination.”
(Note: for those of you on the Left with no sense of humor, this was intended as sarcasm)
Back in 2008, Presidential Candidate Barack Obama proposed the idea of a civilian national security force that would be “just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded” as our military. (see video snippet here)
I wondered recently what had happened to this campaign promise, whether it had been just another political pandering point on the election trail or if it might have actually become a background effort by the Obama administration. A bit of web browsing gave me many links to a couple of programs that have been hidden in legislation or proposed without enough critical opposition.
1) The concept of a “Ready Reserve Corp” is built into the 2010 Obamacare bill, and specifies thousands of specialists available to provide support in the event of disaster, terrorist attack, emergency, or any situation deemed “appropriate” by the government.
2) The Serve America Act and American Recovery and Reinvestment Act promotes massive expansions to programs that will insure many “community organizing” automatons are promoting the kind of activism preferred by Progressives.
The President signed the Edward M. Kennedy Serve America Act, a hallmark piece of legislation.
The Serve America Act will increase the size of AmeriCorps from 75,000 volunteers to 250,000 by 2017.
The Act also creates a Social Innovation Fund that will invest in ideas that are proven to improve outcomes and “what works” funds in federal agencies to promote effective and innovative programs.
The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act included $201 million in funding for the Corporation for National and Community Service to support an expansion of AmeriCorps State and National and AmeriCorps VISTA programs.
Spending a few moments as an AMATEUR investigative journalist, AKA blogger, I then tossed all objectivity aside and could not but help to entertain humorous thoughts regarding the preference we should give to these “soldiers” as our civilian “protectors” and also about what kind of distinguishing uniforms they might incorporate. I mean, seriously, if thousands of newly authorized law enforcement officials are roaming our streets shouldn’t we know whom to approach when our kitten is stuck in a tree or when a public school teacher has touched us inappropriately?
Below are just a few pictures with captions describing how these groups could help make our America a much safer…oh, and fairer, place. Realize that all these groups are already trained in the use of weapons and intimidation tactics so they will be much less expensive to prepare and certainly willing to enforce the Liberal agenda with exuberance. The branch uniforms are obviously suggested by the photos.
- Black Panthers will staff our polling places to insure the best election outcome. If you as a voter feel intimidated, then you are obviously not voting for the right candidates.
- Though possibly at odds with the Black Panthers, MS13 would be a serious tool to focus the Latino community. For anyone that doesn’t toe the line, shootings and beheadings are just an additional “gentle’ reminder of what is expected as a compliant citizen.
- Need I say more? Yes, I must. How can we possibly have an effective “civilian defense force” without a branch to interact with the Muslim community and to enlighten “Islamophobes” of their errant ways. These guys could make sure Sharia law is implemented and enforced as communities are made compliant and complacent.
- Here is the feminine branch of our national security defense force. CodePink will replace the now defunct WACS (Women’s Army Corps) from World War II with WACKOS (no acronym required).
- To be inclusive of all hate groups, a special branch comprised of Skinheads and White Supremacists will prove that the Obama administration is tolerant of all views, though this group will have no enforcement powers as “only white people can be racist’.
- Lastly, perhaps giving up assless chaps in a parade for the betterment of society will make “homophobes” see the light. Who knows, the gay agenda may be more easily swallowed.
Done!
A rhyming tribute to close:
Slovenly, unkept, unfit
Clearly a Left hypocrite
You rake in the cash
While you pump out the trash
Mr. Moore, you are so full of shit
Recently I began wondering if there are any positive uses for Islamic Jihadists (aside from testing nukes). Without much thought I realized some of the benefits of people wholly imbued with an ideology as insane as radical Islam. If any of you are like me this could trigger a lot of fun. Feel free to add in the comments.
Real Uses for Islamic Jihadists:
- use them to exhibit the results of the cultural failures of Islam, then blame the failures on Israel, then laugh maniacally.
- use them to threaten your children, since they have grown immune to images of the boogy man.
- convince your wife that occasional beatings and beratings are essentially harmless, hell, even loving, given the alternative.
- use any Jihadist act to trigger a Leftist response of moral equivalence. The response will be immediate and automatic but totally unfounded.
- state that any difficulty meeting your artificial insemination needs with cows and goats can be easily fullfulled with the help of Johnny Jihad!
- remind people that an impotent presidency (Obama) cannot stop an insane ideology (Islam).
- claim “peaceful protests” ripping apart a nation demands the election of a real leader (not Obama).
- remind friends and family that personal hygiene, including brushing teeth and wiping with bath tissue is imperative to good health.
- with spring approaching we need bulk for the mulch piles (Thank you suicidal Ackmed!)
- display the real meaning of Islam to Leftists and realize they will cavort with Jihadists, at their peril, to achieve there own aims of destroying the West
- for just plain pissing off of the West. (taking down the Towers. Bombing the London Trains or Spanish Trains, and other mischief). God damn. this makes me want to turn every Islamist into a radioactive lampshade.
Oh, did I offend someone? If not, I am sorry.
Dhummi aka @ComeAndGetMe
After getting carried away on Twitter with humorous (to me) ideas about uses for the Qur’an (besides heating your home or making smores) I had to compile them here. These were all written while thinking specifically of Islamic Jihadists and their attempt to get everyone else to submit to their crazy ideology. I know I could have done the same with other religious books but then no one would have been pissed off. Here goes….
Instead of burning the Qur’an….
…use it to beat anyone to a pulp who says you are not peaceful.
…use it as a step stool for those hard-to-reach items in the top shelf.
…put one in each of the new McDonald’s Angry meals.
…use it to raise an army of crazed, intolerant, savages.
…use it as a practical joke, ululating & waving it around at the airport.
…use it to level that rickety table at Hooters.
…use it to complete your Halloween costume as a one-eyed, seizure-prone madman.
…make an illustrated version filled with images of Mo. (PBUH)
…replace all the pages with porn and donate it to a madrassa.
…give it to your Progressive friends and tell’m it’s Obama’s next autobiography.
…soak it in urine, hang it in a museum and call it art.
…use it for one of those heavy flow days.
…hollow it out and use it to stash illicit drugs and sex toys.
…keep one around in case your new puppy needs house-breaking.
…keep one in the bathroom for when you run out of TP.
…return it to the author with a publisher’s letter of rejection.
Got this from a friend on FaceBook. I’m sure not as offensive as drawing a picture of Mohammad but certain to raise the ire of Jihadists and those humorless devotees to political correctness in the West.
Imagine a New York hotel at Ground Zero operating with a focus on 9/11. Perhaps my feelings about the events of Sept. 11th, 2001, makes me question exploiting the most traumatic event in modern America but if not for the copyright infringement would they call it “The Tower of Terror”? Perhaps provide a simulated 13-story free fall for the entertainment and excitement of the guests?
Math Problem: (no calculators on test)
Joe has 10 apples, Bob has 5 apples. To achieve economic justice how many apples does Obama take control of?
Ans: (15)
