How many times have you seen a news broadcast on television or listened to one on radio where a report is made about a crime in which the perpetrator got away and the public is asked to provide any information that may lead to capture of the transgressor? The initial news report often tries to provide a physical description to help us in identifying the “suspect”. Now I appreciate law enforcement turning to you and me for help in the case because I don’t want criminals ruining our communities and lives but I have a complaint with regard to these news reports.

I think political correctness forces law enforcement to be too vague when providing a description of the person or persons being sought, which can hinder John Q’s ability to recognize the target. Most reported descriptions list “safe” attributes that won’t be viewed as profiling by those PC hyper-sensitives. We are told about height, weight in estimated pounds, hair color, gender, and last-known attire. Usually it is not until later in the search that additional details such as race, possibly a name and aliases, and even a photo are provided that any of us would really know who to look for. Screw sensitivities! How about giving us descriptors that make the pool of people being scrutinized even smaller.

Here is the kind of useless description I’m referring to:

“Suspect is male, medium height and weight, wearing blue jeans” – Oh, hey, I see him right over there with everyone else that looks like that.

Here are a few examples with attributes that might actually help:

“Suspect is 5’4″, 160 lbs, brown hair, has a gray coat on, and IS A REALLY UGLY BLACK MAN WITH A HAIRLIP” – might narrow things down.

“Suspect is 6’1″, 240 lbs, balding, wearing white sneakers, and CLEARLY IN NEED OF MAJOR DENTAL WORK, PLUS HE’S PIGEON-TOED” – could speed things up.

“Suspect is a short female, blond hair, wearing a red dress, HIDEOUSLY UGLY AND WITH ROPE BURNS FROM PREVIOUSLY ATTEMPTED SUICIDES” – a bit of help.

“Suspect is a white male, blond hair, wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants, and IS ALMOST LAUGHINGLY EFFEMINATE IN MANNER – got him!

This goes for attractive perps as well:

“Suspect is a tall, slender, brunette female, wearing a black leotard, and SO BUSTY AND HOT YOU’LL FORGIVE ME WHILST I CHUCK MY WEDDING VOWS” – at least provides focus.

Can’t we just be brutally honest from the get go? We’re not talking about profiling, we’re talking about a real, imperfect human being. I mean we are looking for a scumbag, not someone deserving of respect and concern for their feelings. We should be given no-holds barred descriptions that would make it obvious to anyone in sight of the shit-sack that “we got ‘em”! This would result in faster identification and faster apprehension, reducing the effort and costs expended by law enforcement – that’s our tax dollars.